with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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