By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
