Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
