Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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