is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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