i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We were destined to go to rehab together
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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