How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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