what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The air taste purple.
Randomize
