she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize