I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize