i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
