I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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