i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
