wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
