where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
