some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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