big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
