so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
