i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
His nipple licking is glorious
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