Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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