Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
this is an emotional support booty call
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