We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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