Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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