It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
