They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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