just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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