Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
