We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
