its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
