I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
