you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
