We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
