Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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