dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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