today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
