Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
