am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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