she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
