Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
