We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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