The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
