She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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