Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Randomize
