Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
