I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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