that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
