some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
