Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
