Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
