make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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