We're like a lot better than the average bears
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
