that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
did you just send me my own nude
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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