Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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