that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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