East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
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