we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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