i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
