Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
