Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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