I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
