I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
vagina is talking i cant
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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