(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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