We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
