Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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