'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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