We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
