Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize